Saturday, August 29, 2009

Dances are not for me XP

Another wonderful day at college :D However, it started weird, and end weird.
I must've woke up, turned off my alarm, and went back to sleep. Breakfast was 7:30-9:00 am, we had a optional/recommended OL meeting at 8:45 am, and an optional/recommended seminar starting at 9:00 am. My roomie ended up waking me up at 9:00 am. We were freaking out, and I felt so bad! But all was forgiven as we rushed to get ready. Once we were somewhat ready, we rushed outside to find the first seminar of the day. We chose one that had to do with studying abroad, but we couldn't find the building! So we were running when we were about to pass this van displaying our college's name and logo on it, and the man inside started talking to us, saying we looked like freshman. He offered us a ride to the proper building (he obviously worked there). My roomie was thinking "awesome.....wait....but stranger-danger...." as I jumped at the oppertunity and ran to the passenger side! Hmmmm......Getting to class on time or being kidnapped....hmmmm XD So, we got there about 10 minutes late, but it wasn't bad or anything, we got the jist. The rest of the day was great.
We had this man named Michael Fowlin come to the university. He's been to my high school before, so I got REALLY excited when I saw his name. Like, REALLY excited. He is so amazing and inspiring. He talks about the things people don't have the guts to talk about, regarding discrimination, judging people, etc. He's like a comedian therapist who gives free hugs :) (I got one!!!). His talk brought me down, then put me back up again. It's so weird, but a wonderful experience. Look him up on youtube. You'll be wowed.
After that, I went to my friend's dorm and chilled. That's where I started getting in this odd mood. I was happy yet unhappy. I was happy to be with awesome people who like me, but was unhappy because I didn't feel like I fit in. They're super nice, kinda artsy, and hilarious, and I'm.......not hilarious....among many other things.
I am so incredibly picky, and I hate it. 'm just not open to certain things. I try them, but they just don;t appeal. Like broadway shows, or other bands, TV shows, whatever! I never like anything mainstream, and it can bug the hell out of me. I want to relate to people so I can have more friends. I'd love that so much. To have a wide variety of friends with different interests and backgrounds. I am inconceivably shy, it's not even funny. I don't know what to say to people. I've been getting better at this, but I'm still not the best :/
I want to like things everyone else likes, yet still be myself, which is possible. But I don't know if it's possible to learn to like things like that.
Later, my buds and I went to the first dance. Everyone had s much fun. Except me. I HATE dances. The music sucks. I hate the dancing. I dance my own way to my music. I wanted to stay because everyone was there and I wanted to keep talking, but the crap-they-call-music made that nearly impossible. I went outside a few times to get away. But it was raining. I wanted to go back to my dorm but it locks after 7pm for commuters. Like, what the hell? That's SO not fair. I wanted to go back so bad. I was done for the night, but I kept a smile on my face because I'm at college. A college I love to pieces!
In conclusion, I hate being so different. I like being different, but not to the point where I have nothing in common with everyone (It SO doesn't help that i'm effing commuting). I want to love "Lost", MGMT, Pokemon, Anime, Cosplay, dancing (yes, even grinding at this point.....wait, I take that back XP), the Killers (my mom has that covered XD), Jason Mraz, Jack Johnson, etc....
I like The Beatles, Monkees, Badfinger, Fleetwood Mac, Grass Roots, fashion, Greek Mythology, That 70's show, Full House, Green Acres, Astronomy, Disney's Hercules, Ghostbusters, ET, The Parent Trap, and that's all I can think of. Badfinger is a huge part of my life, and no one has even heard of them. I LOVE the Monkees, no one has heard of them. Forget about all the rest. The only one that's just a tad popular on campus is That 70's Show. The second is Full House or the Beatles. Damn my pickiness. I wish I wasn't picky. :P
Michael Fowlin's big thing today was about feeling like you don't fit in. That's totally me. I feel different, but not in a way that I feel like people make fun of me. I know they don;t hate me or anything. It's more of what my differences and preferences do to myself. I feel isolated. I feel like I'm on a deserted tropic island (my college) dancing to my music and being happy, until I look into the distance to see a larger island with everyone else on it having a blast. If I don;t do something about this soon, I'll probably become even more introverted. I need help liking more things, yet to be true to myself in the meantime. Why can't I be more "normal" regarding to my accidentally anti-social personality?

But I still love my college. It's the best. Wish me luck :]

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