By the way, the name's Joey- how ya doin'?
My main reason for starting this little blog is for my self-improvement.
"Why now?" You may ask.
I'm about two weeks away from becoming an official college freshman at a university about 10 minutes away from me (needless to say, I'm commuting). My best friend since second grade just left for her college early this morning. I said "goodbye" to her last night. The moment I walked back into my room, I felt like a very stubborn page had finally turned in my late-blooming book of life. I felt older, more responsible, yet not at the same time. I had the sudden urge to give my precious beanie babies (over 200 under my bed) away to charity. I knew this was only the beginning. I wanted to go with this feeling so bad.
My childhood had passed. My life as an "adult" had just begun.
You may be wondering why "adult" is in quotations. It's because there is still too much child in me to let myself call myself an adult. Whether that sentence made sense or not is beyond me.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, this blog was started to mark my progress. Progress? Yes, progress. I'm not the most self-confident person, yet I'm not afraid to be different. I love my automatic need to express my uniqueness (which everyone possesses-whether they flow with it or keep it in out of fear of being verbally mamed). For a while, I feel like I almost "pitied" people who didn't use their sense of uniqueness. I hated it. I hated myself for it. This summer, I've realized more people let it show then not: It's just their way of showing it that made it invisible in my eyes.
I want to be more outgoing and experimental. My wardrobe is gradually changing from hippie to boho/modern chic-ish. I'm loving this change. I want to experiment with music- I am WAY past picky with music. For me to fall in love with a band, they need to be from the '60s or '70s. I'm not into bands like Led Zepplin (honestly- nothing against them! Hard [classic] rock is not really my thing, I guess). I love the Beatles with all my heart. However, I've recently been sharing my heart with The Grass Roots, Badfinger, Fleetwood Mac, and the Monkees. See. I want to experiment with bands like Led Zepplin and Indie and etc....
I want to be more dedicated. Especially to my music. I play guitar, and I love it. I want to have the need to pick it up and jam. But some days, I'm just not in the mood. I want to be in the "write music and play guitar" mood always. It's something I really want to do. For Pete and Tommy.
I want to stop procrastinating. This is college a.k.a reality. I need to stop this habit.
I want to eat healthier.
I want to relax. I have anxiety disorder. It is certainly not a walk in the park.
I tend to obsess. I obsess over my bands, and over little mistakes. I want to obsess less.
I want to become less like my dad. He's lazy, loud, depressed, and obsessive with little things. I want to be active, a little more on the quite side, but with a happy-go-lucky attitude.
I want to stop getting myself worked up over going to work. I'm currently working two jobs, and both make me want to curl up in a ball before I even go in. But, when I'm in, I'm fine unless they keep me for too long (is it appropriate to say I believe I have ADD?)
With this blog, I want to say to the world, and more importantly myself "I can do anything!" I feel like I truely can, however, whether my time-machine makes it past my imagination is still questionable.
POGS- Peace out girl scouts- as my mom loves to say.